Little phrases that are special to Montreal remind us that our city is rather unique. Here’s our list!
1. “Attention. A breakdown causes a slowdown in service on the orange line…”
It lifts the heart just to hear that phrase. Especially during the week, especially in the morning, especially when you’re already late, especially when the train stops just as the announcement is made and you suddenly know that you’re the one who’s interested.
2. “I’m off to the dep.”
Deps are everywhere in Montreal. From convenience stores real ones neighborhood late-nighters, gas stations. But the key to all this is that you’ll never say convenience store or the full word dépanneur in either English or French, unless you’re trying to appease a Parisian who’s in the throes of a disorientation crisis. It’s just not Montreal. It’s a dep, it’s a dep, and it ends there.
3. “Do you have a light?”
Yes, man, I’ve got a light for you. It’s really hot. Park yourself here. In Montreal, we speak Franglais like no other city in the world, and we take pride in our official dialect. We look at the tourists trying to understand us without understanding anything and we say to ourselves, well yes. That’s it. It’s not totally French, and there’s just enough English to make them think they know what it’s about. Either you’re in or you’re out, and there’s no in-between. C’est la vie, tsé?
4. “Hello, hi, how can I help you, how can I help you?”
Speaking of English, Montreal is a totally bilingual city. More 55.1% of the population montrealers speak both languages according to Statistics Canada’s 2016 census, and it seems to be part of our culture. Whether you want to buy a Big Mac or a Louis Vuitton handbag, you’re almost guaranteed to hear this phrase.
5. “This is Quebec. We speak French.”
A small caveat to the previous sentence… it’s also very possible that you’ll hear this sentence if you try to speak English east of, say, without prejudice, St-Laurent or so. Sounds about right. The further east you go, the more Quebec flags you see; the further west you go, the more Canadian flags you see. It’s a little touchy sometimes, but it’s also part of our Montreal’s unique charm.
6. “I’m from the West Island.”
Did anyone ever look at you with confusion, maybe even suspicion, until you said “I’m from the West Island”. As we say so well in English, if you know, you know. And it’s as if everything suddenly makes sense. We’re not sure why. But the West Island is a bit like a small suburban town in an American movie that’s been set in another world. It speaks mostly English, goes to high school, and stores at American Eagle. It’s hard to believe that just a 20-minute drive takes you to Pointe-St-Charles.
7. “It’s off.”
The classic. Street closed, sidewalk closed, subway closed, bridge closed, parking closed. In Montreal, there’s always something crazy for the public. You learn to live with it, and that’s also part of the city’s charm, but at the same time you really wish things were a little less crazy. But we also want our pedestrian streets and our festivals. Poor mayor, she’ll never win.
8. “I’ll have the smoked meat.“
Don’t even try to say pastrami or corned beef, that’s sacrilege. Period. We take smoked meat, and we don’t take it skinny unless you’re an influencer who just wants the photo without really tasting Montreal smoked meat. We have nothing more to say on the subject.
9. “There’s snow tonight, but tomorrow afternoon it’s going to be 22”
It can happen in March, April, May, October, November. Ready for anything, Montrealers really enjoy talking about the weather. Forecasts, mood swings caused by major temperature changes, millimeters of precipitation forecast. We bring a winter coat in the morning and arrive in the evening sweating with three bags of clothes that have been peeled off during the day. Thank you, Montreal.
10. “The tip is 15%”
That’s when the service is just that… a service. When you’re grateful, you give 18%, and when you’ve had very good service, you give 20%. On top of the taxes, you end up with at least 30% added to the initial bill. Yes, it’s expensive to eat here, but at least we’re spoken to in English and French (see number 4) and when we go to hospital we get treated.
11. “After the construction vacations.”
Usually taking place during the last two weeks of July, the construction vacations were introduced “with the aim of harmonizing the downtime of construction sites and maximizing work efficiency the rest of the time”, according to.. Construction Training. I see. Basically, it means the cones don’t move for two weeks, and you can at least expect to know the paths you can take.
12. “St-Viateur or Fairmount?”
The eternal debate. Which bagel is the best? Which store is the most authentic? Which smells better? Which one offers the best options? The best sesame seeds? The best logo? Montreal bagels: St-Viateur or Fairmount? Hot question not to discuss with your first Tinder date. Go for politics and religion, it’s more neutral.
13. “You can’t go through, there’s going to be a demonstration”
In Montreal, we like to demonstrate. We love our freedom of expression. So it’s not uncommon to see a group of police officers lined up on a Montreal thoroughfare, thinking “oh my god, there’s been a murder”. In the end, though, it’s a group of activists who want to get their ideas across to the general public. And that’s a reason to love Montreal.
14. “Is there room on the terrasse?”
Whether you’re a native English speaker or a seasoned tourist, you know there’s no such thing as a patio in Montreal. We say tuh-rass, and we always ask if there’s room on the tuh-rass, because we know it’s better than eating inside. A patio is your uncle’s deck, and he’s very proud to have built it himself on his land in Mascouche with the gazebo he bought on sale at Club Piscine.
15. “Voulez-vous some mayonnaise with your fries?”
Our slightly European trend: we like to put mayonnaise on our fries, in our burgers and even on our hot dogs. Sometimes we mix it with ketchup, and call it Thousand Island dressing to make it fancy. It may not be just Montreal, but we take credit for thinking of it anyway.
16. “It’s going to be about a 90-minute wait.”
Brunch is often a large-scale event. We’re hungry, we want to sit down, we’re sometimes a little wakeful. We arrive at our favorite spot and, lo and behold, there’s a line of fifty people. We say to ourselves, ah it’s not so bad, it’s still moving fast. And after waiting 30 minutes for the hostess to come and take our name, she slams us in the face with this phrase: “it’s going to be about a 90-minute wait.”
17. “You’re not allowed to turn right.”
Alas, no. In Montreal, you can’t turn right on the red light. All you have to do is cross a bridge to enjoy the privilege. On the island, this is not an option. We’re also often not allowed to turn left during rush hour, but that’s a point for another day.
18. “At the end of the week, there’s a festival.”
When summer arrives, the city becomes a kind of outdoor party that lasts three months. It’s Montreal’s signature: the city of festivals. Every weekend, when someone asks you what you’re doing, there’s a very good chance you’ll answer: I’m going to a festival.
19. “You can’t go through there, it’s a pedestrian street.”
Visit pedestrian precinct. We love them, we curse them. They’re beautiful, signalling a summer bursting with activity, neighborhood life and local merchants blossoming in their new adventures. But it also means: you can’t go that way. You can’t park there. You can’t turn there. This has become a one-way street. But we love them anyway.
20. “Watch out for cyclists!”
They are bold, they are numerous, they have a reserved lane. And they often drive as if cars were absent. Not to mention cyclists who think they’re on motorcycles and ride right down the middle of an arterial road! But hey. Cycling is environmentally friendly, gets you exercise and creates a really nice culture. Just watch out for cyclists!